According to Google, rape culture is defined as: “a concept which links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape.”

This basically means that instead of blaming the rapist, the victim is accused of doing something to provoke it, or that rape is considered normal or okay.  Rape culture is the concept that a victim of rape was “asking for it” or “deserved it”  because she was wearing a short skirt; acting, speaking or dancing in a sexual manner; getting drunk or making a man sexually aroused.

It should be obvious – but often is not in our culture – that rape is in no way the victim’s fault, and that a rapist should be punished for what he did. However, in a society which objectifies women to the point that we are seen as sexual objects instead of people, some elements of society think it is okay to use women as nothing more than sexual objects.  No one is EVER “asking for it” when it comes to rape. Rape is never okay; rape, by definition is non-consensual, meaning it is without the permission of the victim. By definition this is unwanted, by definition no one  asked for it.

A little over a year ago a CNN reporter showed coverage of the court case of two teenage boys guilty of raping a highly intoxicated 16-year-old at a party in Ohio. On television, after the footage was shown, the commentator immediately began to talk about how bad she felt for the two boys, and how their careers as athletes were ruined. The reporter described the rapists as “good boys with promising futures.” If this isn’t the perfect example of rape culture in our society today then I challenge anyone to find a better example. No one said anything about the innocent 16 year old that was violated, assaulted, and had her humiliation made public across the nation. But her poor rapists, what about their careers? Their lives are ruined! What shocked me the most about it was it was a woman saying this, woman who if she had been raped would be unlikely to be concerned about the “promising future” of her rapist.

But society is so focused on “it’s the victims fault, she did something to provoke it” that they cannot see what sort of terrible person would violate someone like that in the most private of ways.

Almost every week since I was old enough to understand, my mother has taught me about how to protect myself. I always become angry that she has to teach me these things. Instead of teaching boys not to rape, we teach girls to not do something that would themselves at risk. And is it our fault that rapists exist? No. Absolutely in no way whatsoever is it our fault. So why do we have to wear or not wear certain things, act or not act a certain way, or constantly watch our backs?