The Fairviewer

18 Things I learned on the road to turning 18

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  1. Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s Okay:

When I was younger, I constantly needed everyone to like me so I could feel validated, and if someone didn’t like me, I’d do anything in my power to make them like me. As I got older, I realized that there are certain people I don’t like, and nobody in this world likes everyone or is liked by all. I learned that I don’t need others to like me in order to like myself.

 

2.No one notices your flaws as much as you do:

So you didn’t straighten that one piece of hair and now you’re self conscious. You feel like everyone noticed and is laughing at you behind your back, right? I can assure you, they aren’t, everyone’s too busy worrying about their own flaws to notice anyone else’s.

 

3.You cannot rely on other people to be your main source of happiness:

Sure, having someone in your life who makes you happy is fine and dandy, but what happens when they’re gone? You need to find other things that make you happy, and learn to make yourself happy, not rely on anyone else.

 

4.Perfection doesn’t exist:

For most of my life I tried so hard to have perfect hair, perfect skin, a perfect body, be a perfect daughter, a perfect sister, a perfect friend, a perfect student, a perfect girlfriend and I was absolutely miserable. The truth is, no one is perfect, or ever will be perfect. You’re only human, you can’t force yourself to reach an unattainable standard.

 

5.It’s okay to make mistakes:

Making mistakes is completely normal, it’s how we learn. Sometimes you make the same mistake over and over again because you still need to learn from it. When you’re young, you’re going to make tons of mistakes, it’s how you grow and mature as a person, by learning from your mistakes

 

6.It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes:

We are taught to be selfless and put others before ourselves, and that’s a great thing to do but it’s okay to put yourself first. You don’t have to come running the second someone needs you if you’re too emotionally exhausted. You’re not being selfish, you’re doing what’s right for you.

 

7.It’s okay to ask for help:

I used to be so stubborn and try to handle everything on my own because I felt like if I asked for help people would see me as stupid or weak. As soon as I learned to swallow my pride and ask for help, my life became easier. We all need a little help sometimes, there is no shame in asking for help.

 

  1. You never truly know people as well as you think you do:

Everyone shows people the side of them that they want to be known for. There are parts of them that they will never show you, no matter how close you are.

 

9.You must learn to forgive yourself:

There are things that I couldn’t control that I blamed myself for. Forgiving myself and realizing it wasn’t my fault gave me a sense of peace.

 

10.Everyone is going through something:

Some people are better at hiding their problems than others. No one’s life is perfect, no one is 100% satisfied with their situation, things are rough all over. We should all try to be kinder to one another, it could make such a difference in the world.

 

11.You are allowed to feel your emotions:

Having emotions is a blessing and a curse, nobody likes feeling sad or angry or frustrated, but in order to move on we must let ourselves feel pain. Numbing your pain will only numb your feelings of joy too. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re overdramatic or that you seem like you “have no soul” because you feel things differently than they do. You are allowed to be as emotional as you see fit.

 

12.Things don’t always go as planned and that’s okay:

You pick yourself up and you start over. Life gives us so many chances to grow and learn, and honestly the best things that have ever happened to me completely went against all my life plans.

13.You won’t always have the same bond with someone forever:

Friendships change, people grow apart, people change, it’s all part of life. I adore all of my friends but our bonds have definitely changed over the years, and there are some people I’m not as close with anymore but it’s okay. People come and go but guess who you’re stuck with forever? Yourself!

 

14.You must learn to love yourself:

For the longest time, I had such low self esteem and I genuinely thought that every compliment I got was a lie. I hated everything about myself. Learning to love yourself is a journey and requires patience. Focus on your good qualities, do things that make you happy, don’t listen to negativity. Your life will become so much better when you learn to accept yourself as you are. Don’t ever change yourself for anyone.

 

15.You really can do anything you set your mind to:

In junior year, I decided I wanted to be an honor roll student all year and I was. As long as you put your mind to it and work hard, you will be successful. You must believe in yourself and your capabilities.

 

16.Other people are not your competition:

In a world that pits women against one another, it can be so hard not to compare yourself to someone and not feel terrible afterward. You cannot compare yourself to others in any way. You are a unique individual and so is everyone else. Another person’s beauty is not the absence of your own. Someone getting a better grade than you doesn’t mean you aren’t intelligent. We are all on different steps of our own journeys,and the only thing you should compare yourself to is how much you’ve changed and f=grown as a person.

 

17.Your life belongs to you and only you:

People will try to influence you to do things that they think is best for you, but if it doesn’t make you happy, it isn’t really the best for you. You are the one who gets decide how you want to live your life. When I lived my life trying to make everyone happy, I ended up unhappy. You can’t please everyone, and you should always try to do what makes you happy, because who’s there at the end? You.

 

18.Having a positive attitude really does change everything:

Okay, I know this is everywhere and it’s so annoying to hear but seeing the glass as half full really does make you a happier person! Try to see the brightness and goodness in the little things. It can be hard to be positive when there’s so much unhappiness in the world, but there is  so much more beauty and goodness in the world. Whenever I feel myself going back to my cynical ways, I think of all the beautiful, wonderful things in this world, and I feel better. Life is too short to be bitter and negative, finding beauty in the little things will give a you sense of inner peace.

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18 Things I learned on the road to turning 18